Last night I saw this movie “The Tooth Fairy” and there was this nerdy guy in the movie who was a fairy but didn’t have wings. Towards the end of the movie, the Fairy God Mother (or whoever Julie Andrews plays) pins a small badge on his shirt in the shape of a pair of wings and promotes him to a full-fledged tooth fairy. Well, imagine how he would feel if he were to hand over his wings to someone for a couple of months… that’s how I feel these days…
You see this is my last week at work and I feel like I am taking off my wings, fondly wrapping ‘em up in tissue, and putting ‘em away at the bottom of a trunk for safekeeping with a note “to be taken out and worn again later!”
Ok, I know I am supposed to be happy I’m getting married soon and moving to be a brand new place with a brand new hubby and a whole new life and I am! But a teeny part of my heart that hates change and the weeny part that detests relinquishing control is scared stupid!!!
You gotta look at it this way, up until the last year I spent most of my life fighting to get to a new city, get a job and start MY VERY OWN life… and now I have to give it all up!
And before you start attributing this as an after-effects of an Arranged Marriage, I’d like to very firmly state that the very sweet albeit “arranged” fiancé of mine had nothing whatsoever to do with this. This is wholly, solely, and entirely MY decision! It was ME who decided to take a month or two of a breather to adjust to a new environment, new duties, new responsibilities and oh yes… a new name; before I start looking for a job again and the fiancé / soon-to-be-hubby has been nothing if not completely supportive. So there!
And of course, I know I will work again coz my fiercely independent spirit won’t let me mope around the house occupied with pots and pans alone. After all, you can’t tell me that the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon!!!
Besides, as the soon-to-be-hubby says, “Everyday is a fight and it’s nice to know that every evening you can take off your armour and come home to someone who gives you strength for some more battles.” Sure, I still have a few more fights left in me, but as a friend recently pointed out… very soon it’s gonna be a whole new battlefield.
You see this is my last week at work and I feel like I am taking off my wings, fondly wrapping ‘em up in tissue, and putting ‘em away at the bottom of a trunk for safekeeping with a note “to be taken out and worn again later!”
Ok, I know I am supposed to be happy I’m getting married soon and moving to be a brand new place with a brand new hubby and a whole new life and I am! But a teeny part of my heart that hates change and the weeny part that detests relinquishing control is scared stupid!!!
You gotta look at it this way, up until the last year I spent most of my life fighting to get to a new city, get a job and start MY VERY OWN life… and now I have to give it all up!
And before you start attributing this as an after-effects of an Arranged Marriage, I’d like to very firmly state that the very sweet albeit “arranged” fiancé of mine had nothing whatsoever to do with this. This is wholly, solely, and entirely MY decision! It was ME who decided to take a month or two of a breather to adjust to a new environment, new duties, new responsibilities and oh yes… a new name; before I start looking for a job again and the fiancé / soon-to-be-hubby has been nothing if not completely supportive. So there!
And of course, I know I will work again coz my fiercely independent spirit won’t let me mope around the house occupied with pots and pans alone. After all, you can’t tell me that the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon!!!
Besides, as the soon-to-be-hubby says, “Everyday is a fight and it’s nice to know that every evening you can take off your armour and come home to someone who gives you strength for some more battles.” Sure, I still have a few more fights left in me, but as a friend recently pointed out… very soon it’s gonna be a whole new battlefield.
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well.. i totally agree with THE GIRL.. its such a crazy world you have no idea what and how ur choices are gonna take shape!!
ReplyDeletei recently read in a book- how blessed human are to be able to make choices a single choice can make destinies and at the same time destroy it!! in spite of the statutory warning we find ourselves push or willingly walking toward a forked road and we do the most dreadful thing that is make a choice.. choose where to go and even if we may think it was a mistake we try to convince ourselves that the other way was more dangerous!!! so yeah everyday is battle.. a battle of choices we make and how well we stick to them!!
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